The Back Story...

As of August 10 I was officially 34 years old. I have never really blogged so this is going to be a new adventure. I am currently single and have been for quite some time. I used to think that I would be married with children by this age but for now I am single with no children. Maybe that is a good thing since my marriage fell apart. Would I really want to have to take my child to the Prison my ex-husband is in. God is good, and he spared me. Out of high school I was dating a sweet man who took very good care of me. We were together for 6 years and through all of that time we were just really good friends. After we broke up I met the man that became my husband. He was different, a bad boy type. Maybe that is what appealed to me. He became a force to be dealt with. About a year after we got married my father passed away and my ex-husband did not know how to help me deal with it. It was a shock and came out of the blue. He had acute luekemia and passed away in less then 6 hours after finding out. I handled everything very well but can't really tell you what happend for 6 months. I still remember the day that I woke up and started to live my life again. It was in Decemember and my boss at the time called me in her office and said that she understands I have been going through a lot with his loss but that my work was starting to suffer. At that point I took a step back and began looking at it in a whole new light. For the next few years I had some new challanges with my marriage. Things began to turn to more of a violent stage. But through it all I kept praying for the Lord to be with me. It wasn't until October of 2005 when I started praying for a way out of my marriage. I charish marriage and what it represents. The vow that I made before God. It wasn't until after my ex-husband was arrested and I talked with my Pastor at the time Pastor Ryan who looked me dead in the eye and told me that I was able to get divorced. That God would still love me through all of it. My ex-husband as some of you may already know was involved with minors and I did say plural on the minors. They were anywhere from 14 years old to adult. I was complete shock, I found my rest in the Lord during that time. I was reading my Bible regularly, focusing on what the Lord had for me. I think that was the first time that I felt so close to the Lord. Short after my divorce was finalized I met a man who lived in Phoenix and when he asked if I would be interested in moving I justed on the opportunity. I placed my house for sale and packed up. I lived with him for about a year before we both realized that we were not ment to be and I found my own place. For the first time I was living on my own. My ex-boyfriend from when I was younger always told me to live on my own and find myself. So that is exactly what I did. Funny thing was, it took me almost 10 years to make that move. I have been living on my own now since January of 2008. I have grown so much in the past 3 years. I ended up dating a man while he finished his work in Iraq, we became instant friends and about a month ago he passed away from stage 4 colon cancer. We only dated for about 7 months and then lost contact for about 8 months. After he found out he had cancer in August of 2009 we started talking again. The relationship picked up right where we had left it. I cared about him so much but it was different this time. He was dying, and really didn't want to put a title on what we had. We remained close for the during the last year. He knew what it felt like to have someone love him unconditionally. Someone that wouldn't judge him when he said the wrong thing or flipped from one thing to another. I will always cherish the time we had together and will never regret it. So here I am, 34 years old and looking to start new adventures this year. I wanted to make this about my journey at 34. Talk about those dateless nights that haunt a woman, those dates that will make a persons mouth drop in horror, those dates that make you laugh until you fall on the floor. And can't forget those adventures with your friends and just taking life and doing things, being out and about. SO that covers it... Now the real story begins... Stay tuned for the day in the life Jenn.. I do promise though to be honest and up front even it is painful to say.. God is good and his mercy is amazing....